‘Tis The Season To Reflect

‘Tis The Season To Reflect

I hope you had the most wonderful Christmas + holiday season. I didn’t do very many holiday blog posts this year except my post earlier in the month about creating yearly themes (and why). For me this time around I wanted my holiday posts to be less about what to consume (because I knew you were going to get that everywhere else) and more about life’s experiences (and its impact on our future). I’d like to take a hard look at the season and ‘tis the season to reflect on the year I had to give the holidays more reason (in addition to Jesus being the reason of course). 

(For another thing, thinking more of others and how you can help make their holidays extra bright is a perfect way to end the year. We cannot forget that there are so many that suffer this time of year. In order to help make a difference in the lives of others, I dedicated my time to three charities this holiday season and it felt so good).

As we come to the end of the year (+ into the new) I’m reflecting on the things that impacted my life this year and how my life has improved because of it. Although I’ve worked towards my goals and it turned out to be an accomplished year, the year also handed me a bunch of lemons.

I ended up working a part-time job for a few months that sometimes made it hard to keep up with bills. I wrestled with facing harsh realities in therapy about my life. Fought in and out of court with my son’s father (and soon to be ex legal spouse) on non-sense which turned out to be very unproductive and wasted a lot of valuable time. Ended up being caught up in an unnecessary battle in court with a blood relative who wanted to still have some relevance in my life and would conspire with my ex. I realized the bitterness she felt about herself was not about me, but she made it that way. It was all too much, but somehow things would take a turn for the better as I held on. I suppose because of my faith and the strength I gained each time I faced a battle that I didn’t back down from.

The year I had may seem all bad, but it really wasn’t. More opportunities would arise helping my dreams become more promising and the labor fruitful. Even all the things that were thought to be taken away by evil acts were restored. I was given a full-term job opportunity I couldn’t refuse in the entertainment industry. Finances begin to turn around. My son’s behavior and grades would meet his full potential after a tough school year the year before. The challenges I had facing the truth in therapy was masterful in turning into growth and healing. People that would try to cause harm to my life or did not serve any good was eventually removed (and written off). More positive friendships and sisterhoods blossomed. I volunteered time to causes and charities with my girls of Melanin Movement LA by my side. And so much more happened that overshadowed the drama. It was apparent that good karma had arrived. 

I would soon learn that there’s no need to beat yourself up about what did or didn’t happen in the year. The thought followed up with these questions to myself about 2018 going into 2019, “How will you make those things happen next year that didn’t this year?” “How will you accomplish them and how will you feel if you don’t?” I truly believe now as I write this that what I wanted to happen didn’t happen because there was a greater purpose at stake. And whatever didn’t happen this year doesn’t mean that it won’t. Reminding myself that sometimes things aren’t meant to happen on our time, but when the universe feels we are ready for it. 

Everything that happened this year wasn’t  in vain. It was all apart of God’s plan. They served as a set up for something even greater in the future. So I ask you these questions:

*What did you learn this this year (2018) that will bring forth positive change in your life in the new year?

*The people that negatively affected and disrupted your purpose this year, will those people still have a spot in your life? Are they worth the cost? 

*What sacrifices are you willing to make for your personal growth? (There’s always necessary adjustments that need to be made in order for you to experience that fulfilling life that you’re planning to have in the new year. If you haven’t changed a thing this year then nothing will change in the new year. Don’t play yourself).

*What are you reflecting on that you’ll use to catapult you to the next level? (When you change your thoughts, you change your life. Don’t let any of the bad things that happened to you bury you, know that you can overcome it. Use it as fire that’s lit inside of you to align with the best version of yourself that you can be proud of). 

You can find this look in my Amazon Store. Take a look inside the virtual boutique of my favorite fashions to complete your style in 2019. 

I tell my story not for self pity, but with hopes to inspire every single person that reads my blog to never give up no matter what you’re facing. There is plenty of fight in you and I encourage you to just keep on going. After all, you’re worth it.

I’m learning to see the good and bad that occurred throughout the year as gifts in my life. It all helped pave a transformative woman that is ready to live life more abundantly. There’s more work that needs to be done in the process of accomplishing my dreams. 

I’d love it if you subscribed for more ways to transform into a better version of yourself. Your style and lifestyle depends on it. Leave a comment and let’s have a conversation about your goals in 2019. As always, be good to yourself.

Happy new year! 




Pentené Milner is a mother, influencer, stylist and all around lifer. She started Style Me Fancy by Pentené (a style, fashion and lifestyle blog) initially to brand herself as a stylist, but quickly turned it into a place to inspire women to find a sense of empowerment in their personal style. She’s a native of San Diego, California, but made Los Angeles her home in 2002. She enjoys being mom to her tween son, city life, fun with family (and friends that are like family), seeing the world, dressing up, dining, wineries and self caring at a spa. To her, as a former singer, music brings everything to light and many times writes while listening to it.


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