I wanted to give an update on what’s been happening in my world. There are a lot of great things that has occurred internally that have been manifesting externally, but life does not happen without challenges and tests. While you are on a growth mission there will always be someone or something that comes along to help you strengthen those new muscles. But I gotta tell you that one of my end of the year highlights was the opportunity I had to attend a healing retreat, the Radical Shift Experience founded by Phoenix White. It was for a weekend in Cardiff, CA at the beginning of this month. I’m not going to get too much into it just yet, but I will describe it for you in one word, INCREDIBLE. I learned just how unkind we can be to ourselves because our traumas of the past still maintains a hold on us. Just because it’s in the past does not mean that it doesn’t show up in our present and it bleeds toxicity into our lives. My gift to you on this post will be to focus on the ways that you can be kind to yourself. Not just one day of the week, but making the conscious effort to do it everyday.
Treating ourselves kinder and with respect should be our top priority. It’s easier said because we have been influenced to do things that are not even close to treating ourselves with kindness. From not setting boundaries, allowing others to use your kindness for weakness, tolerating bad behavior towards you and even disregarding your self-worth. Up until recently while traveling the road of my personal development in order to live more freely, I discovered that I have not been very kind to myself either. I’m learning the importance of being kind, not just to others, but starting with ourselves. It’s extremely important that I set the example for my son and so I am doing my best to get better at this.
As you make the change by treating yourself with kindness, I guarantee your life will change for the better. It takes a lot of discipline, practice and self-confidence, but the reward will have a positive impact on everything and everyone around you.
Floral Print Organza Blouse by Shein
Distressed Denim by Forever 21
Shoe by Zara (similar style)
Earrings by Forever 21
Here are some ways I’m being kind to myself:
1. Getting more rest and taking breaks
It’s crazy to think that lacking enough sleep and not taking a pause to regroup is being unkind to yourself. On the real, it is neglectful. I had to learn that instead of putting so much pressure on myself to accomplish all that I want in my life, it’s imperative that I rest and take breaks. To avoid having mental breakdown and illnesses, I’m taking it a step further and making the choice to know when I need it and then doing it. I have even made a slight change to my bedtime by going at least a half hour earlier. It’s a start.
2. Loving on my mind, body and spirit by doing yoga regularly
My favorite physical activity right now is yoga. For years I have been a fan, but now I can’t live without it. Yoga is a great way to improve your body’s strength, respect your body, love on yourself and connect with your spirit. It’s been positively impactful in my daily life especially when I feel stressed. Yoga has helped me become more aware of myself internally and I am grateful.
3. Positive Self Pep-talk
I’ve learned just how important it is to give yourself a positive self pep-talk. It’s been very helpful in my personal development journey in appreciating every part of me. I look in the mirror (or sometimes I don’t) and tell myself how proud I am of my accomplishments. When I’m feeling down, I give myself some encouragement and uplifting words to strengthen my mind and spirit. I have found that positive self pep-talk can show gratitude and can be a great way of picking yourself back up.
4. Eating healthier food
Remember we are what we feed ourselves, food included. Food has a way of affecting our lives in many different ways and forms, negatively and positively. It impacts our energy and depending on what you’re eating, it can cause symptoms that affects your overall health. My diet includes less processed foods (which can cause stress) and more vegetables weekly (can boost energy). I discovered that what I choose to put in my body shows how much I value it.
5. Forgiving Myself
I know, I know. Forgiving is not easy, but it’s how we release all of the negative feelings we have to birth positive feelings. Once I started to wrap my mind around the fact that I am learning and that mistakes are a part of growth, it makes forgiving myself a little easier. It’s something that I am continuing to work on as I learn the importance of having self-value.
6. Carving out alone time
My alone time means so much more to me now then it had in the past. Alone time is the perfect time to practice self-care and reboot your brain. My alone time is useful for self-reflection and self-realization. I love that it’s an opportunity for me to get to know myself better. It’s a great way for me to plan out my life too.
7. Building healthy relationships
A big part of my personal development had been discovering reasons why I easily allowed certain people in my life. I realized that giving people the benefit of the doubt always hurt me in the end. Being around people that are good for me is a great way to protect my energy and spirit. I immediately dissolve relationships that are no longer suitable to my growing healthy life. Anything or anyone that disrupts my peace is too expensive.
8. Planning my wardrobe with intention
Planning my wardrobe revolves mostly around how it makes me feel. I got rid of a lot of clothing that had old energy that I no longer wanted to be a part of my life. My wardrobe now represents the best parts of who I am becoming and the new positive energy that I’m forming. I have built a wardrobe that helps me create happy wardrobe accidents on a regular.
9. Releasing toxic behavior
After discovering that my past traumas still had a hold on me, I let go of the toxic behavior that caused me to be unkind to myself. Like self-doubt, fear, shame, guilt were some of the negative feelings I felt. I knew that in order for me to live a more positive life, I have to release the things that are setting me back. This is and will be ongoing since we will always have experiences that challenge us.
10. Learning new things
Learning new things are helpful to our esteem and brain growth. Everyday I’m searching for something new to learn to become the best version of myself. It’s rewarding when I discover something new about myself and new strengths.
11. Being open minded by taking on things that help my growth
The things that I have been open minded to have been a testament to my growth. I’m creating a life open to new challenges that are helpful to my overall being. I would have never thought in a million years that I would have attended a healing retreat. Being more open minded has helped me gain a sense of myself and new opportunities.
Being kind to yourself isn’t just something you do every so often. It is something that you make an effort at doing everyday. The kinder you are to yourself, the kinder the world around you, which is something that I am striving for in my life. What ways do you believe you are not being kind to yourself? In order to be kind to yourself, will you let go and change the things that no longer serves you? Do you believe being kind to yourself is a part of valuing yourself?
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